Miley Cyrus leads GQ’s ‘least influential’ & ‘least sexy’ lists: rude?

Miley Cyrus

As we talked about yesterday, Miley Cyrus turned 21 (with “the gayest cake ever“) over the weekend. The internet is still leaking the happenings of her birthday party because that’s how the news cycle runs. I don’t think Miley will mind at all since seems like the type to celebrate her birthweek or birthmonth. Of course she misses her birthday already. She loves being the focus of everyone attention.

Anyway, the above photo comes from Kelly Osbourne’s Instagram page. As you can see, Miley appears pleased to carry that champagne bottle like a champ. She no longer has to hide her drinking, you know? TMZ says Miley’s birthday party was filled with twerking dancers, The Lorax, and a teepee. Happy freaking birthday indeed. Well besides the burglary that happened at Miley’s house on Friday. Estimates put the haul at over $100,000 of jewelry and purses. Speculation is that her engagement ring from Liam Hemsworth might have been part of the take.

Now for the meat of this post, which is all about a few of GQ’s recent buzz-baiting lists. About a month ago (and I ignored this at the time), the magazine included Miley in two entries of the Least Sexy Moments of 2013 list. They called out both Miley’s twerktastic VMA performance and her “Wrecking Ball” video. Other not-sexy entries included Lena Dunham’s topless ping pong moment in Girls and Kristen Stewart’s everpresent scowl. I think you can guess what kind of list this is — one designed to be cruel and one that features only “unsexy” females and not males. Ugh.

Now GQ has published a list of the 25 Least Influential Celebrities of 2013. The list includes Anthony Weiner, Lady Gaga, Ryan Reynolds, Paula Deen, Barack Obama, Dennis Rodman, and Miley Cyrus. I can see why Deen is on the list, but it seems really unnecessary to put even her on a list with the likes of Jodi Arais.

GQ justifies the Miley entry by saying she’s “basically trying every inane strategy she could think of to rile up America’s few remaining pearl clutchers,” and “what’s sad is that it totally worked.” I’m not saying these statements are wrong, but Miley has been sadly influential amongst young women. So many people were dressed up as Miley for Halloween. Even if they did so as a joke, Miley’s still influencing them in one way or another.

GQ seems to be dragging Miley’s name into the lists because they know her name gets press.

Miley Cyrus

Now for some replays of Miley’s EMAs dress. Because — let’s face it — the girl who “can’t be tamed” been very tame lately.

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus

Photos courtesy of Miley Cyrus on Twitter, Kelly Osbourne on Instagram & WENN

Kanye West: ‘Kim is the most beautiful woman of all time… of human existence’

FFN_Kardashian_Kim_GGFF_112613_51273374

Here are some new photos of Kim in “skinny jeans” yesterday in NYC. I don’t get why any woman would wear white skinny jeans, much less a woman built like Kim. White jeans are not your friend, Kim! Anyway, in case you missed it, Kim Kardashian DID respond to Seth Rogen and James Franco’s epic and amazing spoof music video for “Bound 2”. As I said yesterday, Kanye West’s original music video already looked, felt, tasted and smelled like a spoof, but Franco and Rogen took it to the next level. Anyway, Kim was pretty classy about it, tweeting “You nailed it!!! Sooo funny” at Seth’s Twitter. He responded with “Thanks! Some of those positions were really uncomfortable. That s–t is harder than it looks.” Kim also tweeted (again, at Seth): “Kanye says what’s up! He loves u guys! He laughed so hard at this.” I really hope Kanye did laugh. I really hope Kanye isn’t going to spend the next ten months ranting about Seth and James. #nodisrespecttoBenAffleck

As for out now-daily “Today In Yeezus Rants” segment, here’s what Kanye’s been ranting about lately:

*Kanye thinks Kim Kardashian is the most beautiful OF ALL TIME, saying: “Okay, ladies and gentlemen. All barber shops, fashion designers, architects, corner stores, Wall Street, all over the world: Y’all acting like this ain’t the most beautiful woman of all time! I’m talkin’, like, arguably of human existence — the top 10 of human existence. I loved her from the first day I saw her, which I said on ‘Bound’…I remember seeing pictures of her and Paris Hilton in Australia, and I came to Don C., and I was like, ‘Man, have you ever seen Kim Kardishawn? What’s up with Kim Kardishawn?’”

*A love story for the ages: “Our love story’s a love story for the ages. I felt like when we first got together, it was like a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing, where it’s like, she’s a reality star and I’m a rapper, and people talk about how our brands connect and what doesn’t fit. And I’m just so tired of the conversation of brands. Why don’t we start the conversation with love? Why don’t we start the conversation with God? Why don’t we start this conversation with family? It’s not about branding at a certain point.”

*Nike wouldn’t give him royalties: “I said I need royalties. Nike told me, ‘We can’t give you a royalty because you’re not a professional athlete.’ I told them, ‘I go to the Garden and play one on no one. I’m a performance athlete.’ The old me, without a daughter, might have taken the Nike deal, ’cause I just love Nike so much. But the new me, with a daughter, takes the Adidas deal, because I have royalties and I have to provide for my family.”

*Yeezus = Walt Disney: “I’m just a creative. I’m more like, a Walt Disney or something. Like, rap is just a chamber of my thoughts. It’s something that I really wanted to express as a modern-day poet, because you know, if I had lived in a past lifetime, maybe I would have been a playwright or something. But in this lifetime, to be the most heard and the most relevant, the most relevant is to be a rap rock star. You can express at the highest level there.”

*He’s like other people too: “I’m like Howard Hughes! I’m like [NBA commissioner] David Stern! I’m like Steve Jobs! If anything, that’s a compliment to them! I’m like Michelangelo. Because I’m the new version of that.”

*Kim is Marilyn Monroe: “Kate Upton ain’t Marilyn Monroe! Kim Marilyn Monroe [sic]! She was controversial. She controversial [sic]. This is a reality. I’m living inside of a dream world.”

[Via Us Weekly & Radar]

You guys, I’m telling you. Kanye is going Full Gaga. He’s just doing lines and calling up radio shows and saying the most bizarre shiz, whatever pops into his head. “Imma tell you, I’m like acid-trip Walt Disney because, Walt was like Tupac, he was my man, rapper fairy dust yo, creative genius I AM THE SOCRATES OF ADIDAS, like, Dior Homme me motherf—ker and then we get into Jackson Pollack was my man because like I PAINT WITH WORDS and thoughts and this rainbow, can you see this sparkling rainbow? It’s in my mind’s eye, like I’m Jamie Diamond Elton John and Rene Descartes man. You don’t even know how I’m the 21st century version of the Madness of King George, like let’s get all Charles Lindbergh up in here.”

That being said, I did think that stuff about Kim was sweet. Of course we all think she’s a kat-faced famewhore, but don’t you want your man to talk about how beautiful you are?

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FFN_Kardashian_Kim_GGFF_112613_51273256

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Tom Cruise squirms in deposition, admits he skipped Suri visits for CO$ events

 

Tom Cruise

Yesterday we covered the tale of Tom Cruise continuing to get his lifts in a wad over Life & Style’s “abandoned by daddy” story. He’s still suing Bauer Media Group and sounds pretty obsessed whereas he’s made threats over other tabloid and magazine stories but quickly dropped his complaints. Here’s the thing: the original L&S story was true in the sense that Tom hadn’t seen Suri for 13 weeks. Did they have to use “abandoned” in the cover story title? No. That was purely sensational wording and distasteful when it comes to Suri’s future well being.

Some of you don’t understand why I’m not siding with Tom against the tabloids. I’ll admit my bias against the main crusader of the COS, but I still think he’s wrong to ask for $50 million from the court. If it was merely a question of Tom being picked on by the tabs, that would be one thing. Yet Tom uses the tabloids for his own purposes. Remember when he invited a Star reporter to witness his dramatic swimming pool reunion with Suri last July? This was the same time period when he did all those silly pap walks too. One could argue Tom had no control over getting swarmed by photogs, but he’s proven to us over the past year how he’s perfectly capable of visiting with Suri on the down low. Tom wanted to get papped with Suri last summer, and he wanted the tabloids to see what a loving father he is. Let me tell you, that was one glowing report from Star. You see … Tom loves the tabloids when they play his game.

As an example of Tom’s game, this week’s issue of the Enquirer paints a curious story about how Tom is so worried over his 18-year-old son, Connor. Of course Connor spins record by the name “DJ C Squared,” so he’s a regular fixture in many Hollywood nightclubs. Tom is quite concerned because there’s smoking, alcohol, and pretty models all over the place in these clubs. Tom also thinks Connor’s friends, including Alex Pettyfer, are a bad influence. Well that confirms my suspicions about Alex going CO$, but honestly, there will be vodka where DJs perform. The article goes on to say, “Tom’s worst nightmare would be having one of his kids go down the same path as Lindsay Lohan or Miley Cyrus.” HA. See what a loving father Tom Cruise is?

Here’s some more juicy stuff from Radar on Tom’s deposition for the L&S lawsuit:

On the “Abandoned By Daddy” cover: “I mean, come on, that is absolutely disgusting. That is absolutely disgusting. And I have to tell you with everything … Listen, I am a public person, I absolutely understand. For me there is … I tolerate a tremendous amount and I’m very privileged to be able to have the life that I have, and I believe that. But there is a line that, that I draw for myself, and that’s it.”

Did Katie divorce Tom “in part to protect Suri from Scientology”? “Listen, I find that question offensive. I find it, those statements offensive. Like with any relationship, there are many different levels to it. You know, I, I find it very offensive. There is no need to protect my daughter from my religion.”

Ms. Holmes has never indicated in any way that was one of the reasons she left you? “Did she say that? That was one of the assertions, yes.”

Is Suri currently practicing Scientology? “No.”

Is Katie a suppressive person? “That is a distortion and a simplification of the matter. I don’t want to just give an oversimplification of religious doctrine.”

[From Radar Online]

Awww, isn’t that cute? Tom’s pretending like he doesn’t know what a suppressive person is. I guess he forgot all about that propaganda video where he laughs hysterically about SPs at 4:25 (for a full 90 seconds). This deposition is really something else. It goes on for 48 pages, and Radar has now released MORE. Damn, this is getting good. This part is about how Tom didn’t see Suri from the end of July 2012 until Thanksgiving (when heworked most of the weekend anyway). The Liftmaster … he is squirming:

Why didn’t he see Suri for over 100 days? “Listen, when there is a divorce — if you look at this also in terms of Suri coming to me and certain agreements that you have, when a divorce occurs thing change. And it’s more complicated, as everyone know when that is, when that occurs, and there are certain agreements; now you have to ask for permission and organize schedules to make things happen. So it wasn’t — it’s not an ideal scene. It’s not an ideal situation.”

He parents Suri by telling “wonderful stories” on the phone: “You have to work at it. I’ve gotten very good at it. I’e gotten very good at it. I tell wonderful stories and they like hearing it.”

Does that substitute for a real visit? “No, it doesn’t. As I said, I’ve gotten pretty good at communicating and I also find that, you know, Suri, you know, is a very happy child and confident and has a good sense of herself.”

Why he chose to skip a scheduled Suri visit to spend 24 hours at a CO$ event inOctober: “It was an important event. I felt it was important.”

Is Tom partially responsible for that skipped visit? “No. There are many different circumstances. One, first of all, at this point when you’re looking at — you can’t compare Reacher to All You Need Is Kill or Edge of Tomorrow (movies he was working on at various times). And the situation, you know, when you’re thinking of your child and thinking what is the best thing for them, and of course, respecting Katie’s wishes in terms of Suri’s scheduling, the nature of making that film, the nature of having finished one film, and kind of — agreements change, you know. As I said, things change. Things change. Certainly what doesn’t change is the love I have for my daughter, the fact that I didn’t abandon her emotionally, physically, or otherwise. And in terms of how I feel about her in terms of the responsibility that I feel towards my child is not — is not waned in any way.”

[From Radar Online]

What do I get from this part of the deposition? Blame Katie. She divorced Tom, who could no longer force Katie to spend weeks at a time following him around the globe. This lawsuit is only making Tom look bad. He’s only saying things in this deposition that will haunt his reputation for years. If Tom thinks winning the suit will make people stopbooing him at Dodgers games, he’s very mistaken.

I just wanted to include these photos of Connor because he’s growing into a very good looking young man. Too bad about the CO$ taint.

Connor Cruise

Connor Cruise

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN