I was just thinking yesterday that it felt like we hadn’t had a good Uncool Bermuda Triangle story in a while (a while = a month?). Sure, we’ve been teetering around the edges of Uncool Bermuda Triangle-ism, what with Jennifer Aniston getting engaged (like magic!) on the very weekend every media outlet was breathlessly awaiting Brangelina’s wedding. There was a connection to be made, but it just feels like we haven’t had a good “Angelina called Jennifer and made her cry, and then Brad cried and then the gerbils of doom LAUGHED!” story in a while. Well, this was worth the wait. Star Mag claims that Angelina was bad-mouthing Jennifer’s engagement to Brad Pitt’s mom. If any part of this is true, Angelina Jolie will become my High Priestess of All Things Bitchy.
Angelina was recently talking to Brad Pitt’s mother, Jane Pitt, and Jane mentioned that she was very happy for Jennifer Aniston and her engagement to Justin Theroux.
“Since Angie can’t say anything straight to Jen’s face, Jane is the next best thing,” an insider told Star. Jen has been over the moon since her Aug. 10 engagement to Justin Theroux, but arch-nemesis Angelina doesn’t have any messages of support for the former Friends star.
“After Jane offhandedly mentioned how thrilled she was for Jen, Angie said, ‘Please! She’s pathetic! But, hey, it’s about time. Sure hope it lasts, but don’t get your hopes up. Justin’s going to dump Jen,’” revealed the insider. “Then Angie made some snide comments about how she’d believe it when she saw it, in regards to Jen’s wedding — making it clear that she thinks Jen is a pathetic, neurotic mess.”
The friend adds that Angie knew full well that Jane would tell Jennifer. Another source confirms, “Jane went running back to Jen to report Angie’s comments, and that sent Jen into an emotional spiral.”
“Jennifer is putting on a brave face, but of course she has concerns about whether Justin is capable of being faithful. Jen is doing everything in her power to move forward and get Brad out from under her skin. But Angie’s right there, trying to throw cold water on her happiness.”
Pathetic. Dump. Neurotic. Mess. The cable news channels talk a lot about “dog whistle politics” – various political language and messaging used in place of more straightforward and blatantly offensive political messages (see: the current coded language about welfare). I think this story is “dog whistle gossip.” Even though most people don’t want to believe it, and might even refuse to believe it, there’s still an emotional pull, a gut-check reaction because of the language used. You can’t call Jennifer Aniston “pathetic” or a “neurotic mess” on our watch, the Aniston-loonies cry out. And the Angelina-loonies whisper, “Oh, snap. I’m surprised they didn’t throw in ‘Botox-faced spinster’.”