Kim Kardashian wants Kanye’s baby via surrogate so she doesn’t ruin her figure

I keep saying that I’m waiting for/expecting Kim Kardashian to get pregnant with Kanye West’s baby. It just feels… right, doesn’t it? Like it’s the next logical step in the famewhore game: get pregnant and reap the rewards, let the pregnancy publicity blitz wash over you like a steady stream of… nevermind. Well, I forgot one thing: Kim Kardashian might be too much of a narcissist to get pregnant. And before you hit “publish” on your “I can’t believe you’re calling surrogacy narcissistic, you f^&#@”hissy fits, let me explain: The Enquirer claims Kim doesn’t want to have Kanye’s baby because she doesn’t want to ruin her figure. I have no problem with surrogacy in general or specifically to help couples with fertility problems. But going the surrogacy route JUST because you don’t want to ruin your figure? I’m sorry. Narcissistic. Of course, I don’t want to have a baby because I think I’d be a terrible mother and I want to projectile vom when I think about childbirth. So maybe I should just keep my mouth shut?

KIM KARDASHIAN has come up with the perfect plan to have a baby with KANYE WEST and still keep her massive assets – hire a surrogate to carry the child for her!

According to a close source, Kim, who’s been dating 35-year-old rapper Kanye since early April, would like to have a young woman in her mid to late 20s “with a calm, soothing demeanor, a lot of patience and a posi­tive outlook” to serve as a surrogate.

The curvy 31-year-old reality star would also prefer a woman who has siblings and is married with a happy home life, added the source.

In exchange for having for having the power couple’s baby, the surrogate could stand to collect a whopping $200,000 to cover medical bills, ex­penses and the surrogacy fee.

“As far as Kim’s concerned, this is the answer to her dreams,” divulged the source. “She desperately wants a baby with Kanye, but she doesn’t want to gain weight like her oldest sister Kourtney did!

“Kim actually said, ‘I won’t ruin my body by getting pregnant.’’’

“Kim doesn’t want to go through the pain and heartbreak that Khloe has endured,” said the source, referring to the two frustrating years that Kim’s younger sister has suffered in her still-fruitless attempt to have a baby with Lamar Odom. “WhileKourtney has had no problems getting pregnant, Kim’s seen how miserable Khloe has been trying to conceive – and that’s the last thing she wants to go through.”

But the main reason Kim is opting for surrogacy is because she’s concerned about her weight.

“Kim loves food and packs on pounds easily,” explained the source. “She’s been on an organic diet and has been working closely with a trainer to trim down – and it shows…. Kim knows that if she gets pregnant, all that hard work goes down the drain and her famous butt with expand. She’d also have to take a break from modeling and advertising, which is where she makes most of her money.”

As for Kanye, he seems to be happy to let Kim handle the decision.

“He thinks she would look absolutely beautiful pregnant,” the source said. “But if Kim wants someone else to carry the baby – that’s cool with him too.”

[From The National Enquirer, print and online editions]

I can understand how Kim looks at what Khloe’s going through and thinks “Dear God, I wouldn’t be able to handle that.” But Kim doesn’t even know if she can conceive! It’s not like she’s trying – that we know of. She could be as fertile as Kourtney. And yes, I know this is the Enquirer, etc, etc, and maybe it’s not true. But doesn’t it sound so… Kardashian? It sounds Kardashian to me. I kind of think Kim doesn’t want to admit that she’s kind of ambivalent about pregnancy and babies too.

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Prince Harry might have a new, 23-year-old, blue blood girlfriend, Cressida Bonas

In yesterday’s coverage of the “Hot Guys” of The Dark Knight Rises premiere in London, I included photos of Prince Harry rubbing his nips as he left the movie. Something about The Dark Knight “rising” had put a “rise” to Harry – it’s always the violent movies, isn’t it? Ladies always think the sexy movies will get them all riled out, but really, dudes tend to get randy after violent movies. So there was Harry, having just sat through a three-hour epic of destruction, and he was ready to go. So he headed to the nearest leggy blonde. Her name is Cressida Bonas, and I’m including photos of her exit from the premiere too. The Mail is suggesting that Cressida, 23, could be Harry’s new girlfriend.

With a mane of blonde hair, endless legs and an impeccable pedigree, Cressida Bonas would certainly appear to be – as her friends suggest – ‘posh, pretty and perfect’. And the 23-year-old model’s charms have not been lost on Prince Harry.

The Mail can reveal that the third in line to the throne has been kissing and cuddling up to Miss Bonas, the daughter of Sixties cover girl Lady Mary-Gaye Georgiana Lorna Curzon. On Wednesday night the pair went to great lengths to convince photographers they were not together – a tactic which, when it comes to the royals, is often the biggest clue that something is going on.

As well as boasting the ideal credentials to become Harry’s new princess, Miss Bonas bears an uncanny resemblance to the 27-year-old prince’s past amours, long-term girlfriend Chelsy Davy and last year’s summer fling, Florence Brudenell-Bruce. Indeed, like Miss Davy, whose seven-year relationship with Harry was often tempestuous, Miss Bonas went to Stowe public school followed by Leeds University.

She is a familiar figure in London’s upper-class social scene and as a teenager was labelled by society bible Tatler as ‘really pretty, really nice and absolutely obsessed with Eva Cassidy’.

Currently a model for luxury brand Burberry and an aspiring actress, she is said to be a ‘sweet, bubbly’ character and was introduced to the prince by her close friend, Princess Eugenie. On Wednesday she joined Harry and his cousin for a party following the London premiere of Batman film The Dark Knight Rises, at the Freemasons’ Hall in Covent Garden – where they were at pains to walk in and out separately. Miss Bonas was, however, quietly but significantly chaperoned by Harry’s best friend, Tom ‘Skippy’ Inskip.

When the pair arrived – separately again – at their second venue for the night, Le Salon, Miss Bonas made a huge show of entering the Central London brasserie and nightclub with her arms around a handsome dark-haired decoy, who in fact was Eugenie’s boyfriend, Jack Brooksbank.
Inside the club, according to onlookers, it was not long before she and Harry ‘hooked up’ and were seen kissing in a corner.

Dressed in a clinging white dress and vertiginous heels, and with a plait in her hair, Miss Bonas left at just after 4am, jumping alone into a cab. Harry departed with his bodyguards just ten minutes later.

The liaison comes after the prince complained in a US television interview earlier this year that girls were put off by his title and indicated he was keen to settle down.

Miss Bonas is the daughter of four-times married and divorced Lady Mary, who was the It girl of her day. Lady Mary – herself the daughter of pre-Second World War racing driver Earl Howe, a godson of Edward VII – has five children with three of her husbands. Miss Bonas was the product of her third marriage, to Old Harrovian Jeffrey Bonas, which ended in divorce in 1994. Another of her daughters, Isabella – by her second marriage, to property magnate John Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe – was once falsely romantically linked with Prince William. She is currently engaged to Sir Richard Branson’s son, Sam.

Lady Mary was one of the most glamorous debutantes of her era, appearing in daring Sixties coffee table book Birds of Britain posing half naked and covered in engine oil as a nod to her father’s racing past.

When asked last night about her daughter’s relationship with Harry, Lady Mary, who lives alone in a Chelsea townhouse, burst into giggles. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about it,’ she said, amid further laughter.

A spokesman for Prince Harry, who hopes to return to Afghanistan as a helicopter pilot, declined to comment.

[From The Mail]

A 23-year-old blonde model and aspiring actress with enough old-money, blue-blood connections to impress the royal family? Eh. It sounds like Harry and Cressida are definitely hooking up and she’s probably up for whatever he wants (23-year-olds usually are). But will this end up being something more? Or will it just be a few months of royal shagging and then Harry will run back to Chelsea Davy as soon as she crooks her little finger?

Interesting sidenote: I’ve read in several unauthorized tabloid pieces that Prince William was really, really into Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe, Cressida’s older sister (UGH THESE NAMES!!!!). I’ve read that Isabella (who is completely beautiful, btw) had no desire to have a royal life, and she turned down William’s advances many times – and this is during the same time period when he was with Kate Middleton.

Is Tom Cruise terrified he’ll be asked to take a paternity test?

For the first time in weeks, there are no new Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise photos to show off with the tabloid stories. At present, Suri is still with Tom after flying away in a helicopter after he swooped in and smiled at the paps in New York City a few days ago. So we’ll have to make do with some recycled pictures of Katie and Suri enjoying their freedom as well as some photos of Tom looking generally insane.

First up for this Friday roundup — Katie Holmes is focusing on rebuilding her career since (obviously) marrying Tom did nothing for her professional profile. In addition togearing up to produce a feature film called Molly, which she also wrote and is starring in about a single mother and her daughter, Katie is preparing to return to Broadway this fall with a role in a dark comedy called Dead Accounts. She previously appeared in the 2008 revival of Arthur Miller’s All My Sons and, according to one review, “did not embarrass herself.” At the time, that particular critic also mentioned that he had met Katie before she hooked up with Tom and that she mentioned that “she wanted to do plays.” Here’s her chance to get back to that now that she’s done with the unhinged, lift-wearing midget.

Now let’s move onto the tabloids, who are still very much enjoying the aftermath of the TomKat split. A story in this week’s Enquirer presents a picture of a horrified-looking Tom above little floating insets of Chris Klein, Josh Hartnett, and Joshua Jackson with a headline that alleges his fear of having to take a paternity test one day. To up the drama, the Enquirer poses the theory that the test might just be requested by Suri:

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s abrupt divorce has once against given rise to unbelievable new questions about their daughter Suri’s paternity, and Tom is absolutely outraged over the persistent lies and crazy rumors, say sources. The 50-year-old star will be most disturbed over suppositions that Suri will someday ask him to take a paternity test to prove he’s her father.

“Tom is furious that rumors over whether or not he’s Suri’s biological dad persist, and he’s completely outraged that the chatter has intensified since his split with Katie,” revealed a source close to Cruise. “Tom loves that little girl with all his heart and his priority in life is keeping a strong father-daughter bond despite his and Katie’s bust-up. In fact, the reason he fast-tracked the divorce settlement is because he wanted to ensure that he’d never have issues seeing Suri or being a big part of her life.

Since Katie blindsided Tom with the divorce filing, outrageous rumors have exploded on the Internet, with one website suggesting that actor josh Hartnett could be Suri’s daddy. And another insists that Suri is the spitting image of Katie’s “Dawson’s Creek” co-star Joshua Jackson. “I think she was pregnant when she met Tom,” writes a poster.

As The Enquirer reported, Tom and Katie didn’t allow the public to see Suri for the first three months of her life, causing even more absurd speculation. It was widely rumored that since Tom hadn’t fathered children with his previous ex-wives, actresses Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman, Suri was a “test tube” baby — and even more outrageous, that Katie had been impregnated with the frozen sperm of long-dead Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

When the proud parents finally showed off their bundle of joy — with her thickshock of dark hair and piercing blue, almond-shaped eyes — in Vanity Fair magazine in October 2006, a new round of even more vicious lies exploded. Some Internet bloggers insisted that Suri looked Asian, while others noted that she resembled Katie’s last boyfriend, actor Chris Klein.

“If Suri’s schoolmates know about the questions surrounding her dad, they could certainly tease her about it,” Dr. Terry Lyles, a Florida-based psychologist says. “And if Suri is bothered by the rumors, there’s a pretty good chance that she’ll eventually ask for a paternity test. Girls are very concerned with their identity. Knowing their biological father is crucial to their self-esteem.”

But taking a DNA test would be humiliating for Tom, a long time friend of Katie’s told The Enquirer. “Tom’s not going to like it, but there will very likely come a point when he may be forced to take a paternity test. With his seemingly unyielding need for control, Tom will most likely resist the test until the bitter end. He might have to choose between swalling his pride, which he’s not used to doing, or possibly sacrificing his relationship with Suri.”

[From Enquirer, print edition, July 30, 2012]

Oddly enough, The Enquirer leaves out the persistent rumors that Suri could also be the offspring of Tommy Davis, head of the Scientology Celebrity Centre, but whatever. While I’m the first to admit that this story gives me a chuckle because I’m generally a big fan of whatever happens to infuriate Tom Cruise, in this instance, I actually feel slightly sorry for the guy because I really do believe that Suri is his biological child. To me, she truly does look like perfect physical hybrid of Tom and Katie. Seriously! I’m not even trying to be funny about this topic. There are plenty of things over which to pick on Tom, but I don’t buy into the conspiracy theories surrounding Suri’s parentage.

This week’s In Touch has a story about how Tom has a secret plan to “lull Katie into a false sense of security” (which we’ve already discussed in terms of Tom believing that nothing’s really been settled) by the settlement and that “Katie is watching her back,” which is good practice for the future because she’ll be doing so for the rest of her life.

Finally, this week’s Star also has a TomKat story, which is mainly about the hilarity that Kaiser already covered in regard to Katie’s alleged sexy, supersecret rendezvous with Chris Klein. Since Tom, in general, supposedly feels utterly “humiliated” by Katie’sdivorce filing, it follows that he’s now “infuriated” to think that Katie could be hooking up with Chris just days after their divorce was finalized. He’s also supposedly wondering if this means that Katie has been cheating on him with Chris for quite some time now, and he has allegedly been trying to get the truth out of Katie on this issue, but she won’t take his calls. While I don’t doubt that Katie has been refusing phone calls from Tom, there are a million reasons why this would be the case … and none of them probably have anything to do with the American Pie guy. Just saying.

UPDATE: People just published a story about Tom and Suri’s recent helicopter ride out of NYC, which Tom supposedly thinks will help “minimize the disruption” in Suri’s world: “He’s going to try, despite all the attention, to have things be as normal as possible.” Like I’ve been saying all along, Tom just doesn’t have a clue on what “normal” really means, does he?

Jennifer Lopez wants to marry Casper Smart: “The biggest dream is the fairy tale”

I can still remember when Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck did an exclusive joint interview with Dateline in 2003. The interview was easily one of the greatest moments of pop culture/celebrity news of the past twenty years – Jennifer talking over Ben, Ben looking like he was in over his head, both of them answering questions about their life together. It was amazing. I always think that the Dateline special set the standard for“celebrity couples doing awkward joint interviews” and I always think THAT is the reason so few celebrity couples do joint interviews. Anyway, Jennifer has her new budget boyfriend Casper Smart. And she’s got to promote her tour! So she did an interview with Good Morning America – and it turned into an interview with Casper! Because Casper = Ben Affleck!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, Jennifer and Casper didn’t sit down together to talk about their love. No, Casper was interviewed solo about what it’s like to be “chief choreographer” of the tour. Oh, J.Lo. You can see the video here and here are some highlights:

When it comes to love, Jennifer Lopez isn’t giving up on the fairy tale. The actress and pop superstar wants to get married again.

“For me, the biggest dream is the fairy tale. I will never give up on that dream,” Lopez, 42, told ABC News’ Amy Robach in an interview that aired today on “Good Morning America,” as she and singer Enrique Iglesias kick of their Latin pop-infused world tour.

“It can be difficult for anybody who has to stand by my side, but at the end of the day, I know that I deserve that,” she said.

Lopez and actor-singer Marc Anthony split last year after seven years of marriage. The man who is now standing by Lopez’s side is Beau “Casper” Smart, her tour choreographer. Smart gave some insight into his relationship with one of the most famous women in the entertainment industry. He revealed that it wasn’t love at first sight for the pair. Their attraction developed over time.

“It was just very natural, you know, natural how it happened,” he said. “There was nothing before, no flirting, no nothing.”

So what’s it like for him to work with his famous girlfriend?

“Sometimes, I tell her something, you know, give her notes. But at the end of the day, you know, it doesn’t matter what position is what, because she’s the boss, you know?” Smart, 25, told ABC.

And when Robach asked Lopez what it was like to take direction from her boyfriend, the singer laughed at the question. “It’s all right,” she said.

But Iglesias was quick to chime in. “It’s got to be tough to work with the one you love,” he said.

She agreed. “I have done it many times and it’s difficult with some people, and some people, it’s easy. Just depends on their personality.”

Laughingly, Iglesias prodded her: “Who was it difficult with? Say it, say it, say it,” to which Lopez replied, “I am so going to punch you in the head.”

“People obviously over the years have tried to tell it their way. What have the tabloids gotten wrong about you?” Robach asked.

“Everything,” Lopez answered with a laugh.

Iglesias has also been the focus of the media spotlight, especially regarding his 10-year relationship with tennis star Anna Kournikova. While his tour co-headliner wants to get married again, Iglesias has a different take.

“You see, for me, marriage is not – I think Jennifer and I see it differently when it comes to that, which I totally respect her opinion, but I don’t think you need to be married to someone,” he said.

[From ABC News]

So, basically, Jennifer Lopez is really hoping for a proposal from Casper and HE’S MAKING HER WAIT. Because why not? It’s obvious that J.Lo will totally marry him and it’s obvious that it will happen eventually. So… it’s kind of funny that Casper hasn’t proposed yet. Maybe J.Lo hasn’t given him the money to buy a ring yet? Of course not – he’s making his OWN money! He’s her Chief Choreographer. And she bought him a reality show too. *sigh*

J.Lo is such a fool for love. It’s endearing for a while, but at some point it’s just… I want to shake her and do a “love” intervention.

 

 

PETA attacks (who else?) Kim Kardashian for carrying a Hermes Birkin bag

I don’t know why PETA doesn’t just change their name to “We have a Hate-On for All Things Kardashian”. Generally, I can’t stand PETA as an organization, and I’m beginning to loathe their various hissy fits and PR campaigns. I mean, we get it. People shouldn’t wear fur and they shouldn’t be wearing animal skins of any kind. I don’t wear alligator skins or furs or anything like that, but PETA is aggravating me so much, I kind of want to run out and buy a mink jacket. So… just a few months after flour-bombing a leather-clad Kim Kardashian on the red carpet of her latest perfume launch, and just weeks after issuing a public hissy fit-press release about Kim’s python boots, PETA has launched into yet another anti-Kardashian screed. Today’s issue: the Birkin bag in Kim’s hands in the header photo. PETA is attacking Kim for carrying a $50,000 Hermes Birkin bag made out of either alligator or crocodile.

 

Kim Kardashian cemented her title as PETA’s most hated celebrity on Friday by adding a pricey crocodile-skin Birkin bag to her cruel closet, which includes countless fur coats and python knee-high boots.

The cost of the rare designer purse can reach $50,000, but the animal rights group says the price paid by the creature that died for it is far greater.

“For every alligator or crocodile-skin accessory, an animal was likely beaten but still conscious and able to feel excruciating pain as his or her skin was peeled off,” PETA spokesperson Wendy Wegner told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview.

“These animals feel fear and pain and they don’t want to die. Alligators and crocodiles have no real legal protection, but they have done nothing to deserve the violent treatment that they endure. PETA urges consumers to watch Joaquin Phoenix’s video expose of the cruel exotic-skins industry and vow today never to buy items made from the skin of alligators, snakes, or crocodiles.”

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, the Keeping Up With The Kardashiansstar was compared to evil Disney character Cruella de Ville by the animal rights group last month after she was spotted strutting around Paris in a pair of thigh-high Christian Louboutin python boots, which retail for $5,495 and are banned in her home state of California.

“They’d go well with a Dalmatian-fur coat, which is also illegal to sell in California and immoral to sell anywhere else,” Wegner told Radar.

 

[From Radar]

 

Honest question: is PETA making a concerted effort to only attack the people who purchase the “cruel” animal skins, or do they also issue public statements about the companies that use animal skins in their products? Because I would like to see PETA try to take on Hermes – because I don’t think Hermes would stand for it. They’re one of the most elite luxury houses in the world, and they would treat PETA like a gnat to be swatted. Anyway, I know you guys hate her, but for goodness sake, I really think PETA needs to find a new target. Who takes it seriously when a supposed activist group can’t move beyond attacking a C-list reality star?

 

Since you guys enjoyed the booty shots of Kim in yesterday’s post, here are some photos of Kim over the weekend in Miami with Kanye. That dress is really… hooker-ish. Usually Kim isn’t letting it all hang out in such a sloppy manner. It makes me think that Kim and Kanye had a quickie in a trailer or something. Also: those booties are hideous.

 

 

Adam Levine hates Chris Brown & ‘he has no problem telling people that’

On any given day, Adam Levine’s face screams “DOUCHE!” to me. In the past few years, I’ve been happy to see that my gut-reaction (“Ew.”) has a basis in reality: Adam Levine says douchey things, ergo, the man is a d-bag. But I’m going to give Adam a brief reprieve. According to Star Magazine, Adam is one of the few music industry professionals unwilling to let “bygones be bygones” when it comes to the Chris Brown situation. Star claims that Adam has such a hate-on for all things Chris Brown, Adam even mistreats Voice contestants who sing Chris’s songs.

Adam Levine recently faced up to rumors that he’s a womanizer by saying: “Maybe the reason I was promiscuous and wanted to sleep with a lot of them is that I love them so much.” He adores women so much, in fact, that he can’t stand a certain R&R crooner who doesn’t treat them right.

“Adam hates Chris Brown,” a source tells Star. “And he has no problem telling people that.” His anti-Chris feelings are so strong that they’re affecting his work as a judge on The Voice, which recently began filming its third season. During blindauditions, one contestant sang one of Chris’s songs and did an amazing job, but Adam was so blinded by his hatred for Chris that he took it out on the performer for his choice of tune.

“Adam flat-out told the guy he would have chosen him if he hadn’t sung a Chris Brown song,” the insider says. “He said some people might be over what Chris did, but he isn’t and never will be.”

Adam’s integrity is admirable – but the source thought he took things too far.

“Adam didn’t need to let his personal opinions of Chris affect his judgment,” the source explained. “It was actually really inappropriate and immature for him to refuse to choose the singer based on the original artist.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Eh. “It was actually really inappropriate and immature for him to refuse to choose the singer based on the original artist.” Not really? I would be turned off if I heard someonecovering a Chris Brown song too. I simply associate Chris’s music with being a violent woman-beater and an immature, tantrumy, homophobic, misogynistic sh-t. So… Team Levine on this one. Even though I suspect Adam’s anti-Chris Brown stance is partly“I’m such a sensitive lover of women” posturing, I wish more music professionals would openly despise Brown and hold Chris accountable for his terrible actions.

Jessica Simpson tweets photo of brunette Maxwell’s first 4th of July: adorable?

Jessica Simpson just tweeted this photo of herself, Eric Johnson and baby Maxwell on the 4th of July. The photo looks so perfect, my first thought was “Wow, is that the ‘fireworks’ backdrop at a professional photo studio?” But I think it’s for real. Somebody just managed to take a beautiful photo of the Simpson-Johnson family. My thoughts, in no particular order:

*I like that Eric is holding the baby! I hope he turns out to be a great, low-key dad. My body language analysis of this photo – and previous photos of the couple – is that he actually does adore Jessica and he’s happy with his new family.

*Jessica is so pretty without makeup. She doesn’t need to wear a stitch of it and she’s still radiant.

*Little Maxwell is a big baby! I love that Maxi is really looking more and more gingery and brunette as opposed to blonde. I have no doubt that when the baby gets a little bigger, her mom will be putting Sun-In in her hair, trying to make it blonder.

*Little Maxwell looks like her dad, right? Like, I can barely see any of Jessica in there. It’s all Eric at this point.

Us Weekly has some nice quotes from “sources” close to the family – probably Papa Joe, but whatever. The quotes are nice. A source says, “Eric loves holding Maxwell — that is, when he can manage to get her away from Jessica… Everyone is marveling at what a natural Jessica is. She was born to be a mom.”

Last thing – there were rumors earlier this week that Jessica was going to launch a “bridal collection” to her very successful fashion line, but E! News says that rumor is false. I do think she’s going to go ahead with a full-blown maternity line, though.